check it out our google latitudes are spooning
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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