I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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