so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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