Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it's great music for shaving your balls
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
