SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
