margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
