What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
