the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
