I'm drive I can fine osifer
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
