'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
