R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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