I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
