i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
