what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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