ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
