NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
