I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
