I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
