i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
