I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
