that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
