i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
