Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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