better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
