Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
