you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
my poor anus
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
