I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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