is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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