Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
