We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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