There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
