This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
