She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
