i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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