i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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