i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
