I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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