Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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