Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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