The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
