no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She even gives head with a lisp.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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