hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
