I just made out with a guy for $7.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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