Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
