Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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