running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
