why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
