What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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