I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
