I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
