I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
