so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
